It's a sad truth that our culture provides very little accurate education that would help people navigate the tricky road of relationships. Like sex, we're expected to jump into this arena of intimate love, the place that calls up all of our shadows, demons, and fears more than anything else, and know what we're doing.
Nobody knows what they're doing. If you're lucky, you grew up witnessing the positive role-model of your parents' marriage, but that's rare. If you're like most people, you've armed yourself with dysfunctional messages absorbed from mainstream culture and are just holding on for the ride.