“In the end what matters most
is: How well did you live? How well did you love? How well did you learn to let
matter of days, it was all gone: the role in a company I adored, the future I
had imagined, and our friend Max, so loved by all who knew him.
loss washed over me in a sudden gust. I was being called to begin again, to
re-examine what I thought was important. And, in facing the feelings that arose
with being stripped abruptly of these attachments, the inessential was forced
to fall away, bowing to the essential.
can sound so majestic, so beautiful. It can signify a time of starting fresh,
of being conjured anew, of creating a blank page for the future. Flowers are
born anew each spring, butterflies born from their cocoons.
scent of re-birth can imply blue skies and endless vast horizons. Everything is
suddenly awoken, stirring with possibility.
re-birth does not always occur as the delicate unfolding of blossoming petals.
Sometimes, it entails the unnerving shriek of the phoenix consumed by the
flames. Sometimes, it’s the pressure from the heat that turns coal into
Often, we must taste the darkness of death before we can rise
from the ashes with a strength and courage we did not even know we had, until
it was tested.
experience of loss, I was initially distraught for days—brought to my knees as
the figurative tower of everything I was building with all my heart and soul
crumbled around me. Pieces of rubble showered me with a deep reality check, a
wake up call.
me wasangry, and tempted to launch into more “doing”
to “prove myself” and to begin rebuilding immediately and swiftly so as to
“undo” the loss.
that denial could not last long. Instead, I had to accept and be with the grief
of what was gone, and surrender to the new task ofletting my life speakto me and through me, rather
than trying so hard to dictate all my days.
When we cling to things, we struggle. When we grasp at what we
desire, we suffocate it. When we identify with a laundry list of
accomplishments, we always fall short in the end.
have heard the saying “We are humanbeings,
not humandoings.” Living is a
balance of both: centering yourself in who youare,and then expressing that core self
through what youdoin the world, as you grow within it.
focus can so often be on the externals that we get caught up in the scramble to
achieve and forget what is really important, what truly defines us.
our friend Max passed, people did not honor the castles he’d built, or the
deeds he’d done. They honored the spirit of immense life and joy that he
embodied, lived, and spread through being fully himself in every moment.
remembered how deliciously Max dreamed, how immensely he believed, and how
sweetly he treated everyone around him.
death, we have the chance to appreciate and glorify the best in others; but why
wait until then? Why not uplift each other and magnify our gifts while we are
here, together, in this crazy beautiful flesh?
In every moment, we have the chance to taste the fragility of
life in death, and choose to re-invent ourselves through becoming re-born again
and again and again.
you must transform anything that does not serve, you must release what you hold
on to so tightly, you must agree tomelt.
truth, when the caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it actually proceeds to
dissolve into a pool of atoms. It lets go of its old form and completely comes
undone. That is how it reconfigures itself and transforms into its next
glorious form as a butterfly.
own life, I have taken a pause from re-creating. I know re-birth will come, and
that soon it will by time to fly again. But before that, I immerse myself in
the process of bowing with humility and utmost surrender, listening to the
wisdom in the silence.
time to re-evaluate all prior priorities, coming into closer contact with the
values, people, and experiences I cherish, and looking for the beauty in the
stillness, in the amorphous puddle of “not-knowing.”
you’re alsodealing with lossand undergoing transition, can yourelease your attachments? Can you let go of
what “things” and “titles” you identify with, thosethingsyou think define you, that really
won’t matter in the end?
melt into ultimate love, into the powerful grace of knowing that you are both
nothing and everything at once, a single drop in the powerful ocean of life,
still shining as bright as the pinprick of a star?
let go, let go, let go, knowing that soon, when you are ready, it will be time
to rise and soar?