24 years of marriage.
1. Marriage is the potential for an intense, deep and diverse intimacy. Sexual. Emotional. Relational.
2. Marriage is knowing someone has your back. Always. You have theirs. It's about interdependence.
3. Marriage is realizing that you have been seen in your worst times, and that you are still loved. There's an overriding sense of gratitude and security.
4. Marriage is sharing old jokes. Or some story that may be told over and over but it still makes you laugh 'til you are left gasping for breath.
5. Marriage is getting teary-eyed together.
6. Marriage is thinking about the other one not being there anymore. And not being able to think about it.
7. Marriage is getting irritated by the things that always irritate you. Have irritated you for 24 years. Will irritate you for 24 more. And tolerating it because it is way overbalanced by the good stuff.
8. Marriage is not being able to wait to get home to share some little something.
9. Marriage is wishing you were the one having the operation. Or the illness. Not him.
10. Marriage is sometimes fighting. Trying to slowly learn to fight more fairly. To apologize. To listen. To learn. To find resolution.
11. Marriage is about vulnerability. Giving someone the right to hurt or disappoint you. While simultaneously giving that someone the opportunity to bring you tremendous joy and laughter.
12. Marriage is a promise. A vow. To try the hardest you have ever tried in your life. Marriage is a place for the achievement of a personal integrity like no other.
I'm now living year #25.
So far. So good.