By: Lauren Martin
There are a lot of ideas out there about what a “good” girlfriend should be. A lot of them are wrong. She doesn’t need to be pretty, skinny, docile or charming.
She doesn’t need to be girly and coy. And she definitely doesn’t need to be patient and subservient.
I don’t mean screaming and yelling, and I definitely don’t mean blackmail. I’m not talking about being loud and intimidating. I’m talking about instilling a lifelong inspiration and drive in you that knocks you on your ass.
I’m talking about the kind of girl who makes you nervous because she’s not scared of anything. She’s the kind of woman who doesn’t take any sh*t but can dish it at any moment.
The girlfriend you’re scared of might be better than you.
Well, it’s not that she’s better, and she doesn’t think that. But she holds you to a better standard than anyone else does. She expects things — no, not long dinners and David Yurman rings. Nothing like that.
What she demands can be much harder to give and may seem like a lot more work. But, like any challenge, it’s the kind of experience that defines you.
She demands passion and risk. She expects dedication and big dreams. She asks for the best without any excuses. She asks you for the world because she’s prepared to give you hers.
You’ll quickly realize this woman is unlike any girl you’ve ever been with. She’s the kind of woman who thinks of you not as her boyfriend, but as a friend she respects and cares about — a person worth fighting for and worth bringing into her world of big dreams and endless possibilities.
She should make you both nervous and excited. It’s this mix of emotion that keeps you on your toes and never settled. After a while, however, you’ll realize that staying on your toes taught you how to dance.
If she doesn’t challenge you, you’ll never get to the next level.
You need a woman who’s trying to take your ambitions and dreams — not your relationship — to the next level. If she cares about you, she won’t spend her days coddling and cuddling you. She won’t try to marry you right away or lock you down.
If she really loves you, she’ll get you out of bed and into a world full of possibilities.
If she doesn’t make you nervous, you’ll never face your fears.
Respect always carries some fear with it. It’s natural to find yourself nervous around someone who has high expectations. But those expectations will turn into opportunities, and soon you’ll find yourself doing things you never would have done had you not been convinced to climb the mountain.
She may not have the best etiquette or the softest approach, but she’s the only one who was able to get you to the top.
If she doesn’t hold you to standards, you’ll never break them.
A good partner should show you both your dreams AND your possibilities.
Before her, you may have known what you wanted to do without knowing how to get there.
She will pull things out of you that you didn’t know you had. She will take away your ability to make excuses. She doesn’t just want you to have dreams; she wants you to achieve them.
If she doesn’t make you think, you’ll always be guessing.
She doesn’t play mind games, but she will make you question everything once you knew.
She isn’t about dating scores and petty fights. She doesn’t want to waste time with relationship bullsh*t.
You’ll never be unsure about her affection or unanswered texts. You will, however, wonder how you got anywhere without her.
If she doesn’t push your buttons, you’ll never know how far you can go.
While your mother and exes coddled and protected you, she’s out there poking you with a stick. She’s not just telling you that you did a good job. She’s telling you to do better.
She’s not wasting time with excessive praise and adoration; she’s out there helping you score the next goal. She may not take the warmest approach, but she’s taking the longest one.
If she doesn’t inspire you, you’ll never be satisfied.
If you’re not with a woman who makes you want to be better every day, you’re looking at many wasted months and years ahead of you. The kind of woman you should marry is the one you can’t imagine losing — because without her, you lose a part of yourself.
You’re not dependent on her, though; you’re dependent on the constant inspiration and world of possibility that she carries. She’s your guiding light and the best thing that’s ever happened to you.